Saturday, June 24, 2006
~ 1:56 AM ~
Minlee.. i manage to find Huiling le.. she is FOUND.. hehe.. anyway, i knoe life must live to fulllest then etc... etc.. etc...-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are few too many things for me to think.. until i want to make myself very occupied.. coz too free made me think nonsense.. Ya, i was still sad.. but will friends came in trying to talks things out for us.. Thanks all of ur .. i appreciate ur help.. I can hear advice coming from all over.. but still its a matter for me and him only.. I know got to settle within ourselves somehow or rather.. But ... decisions are cruel and hard to make.. and for my character.. i had to make changes to anything.. i hate to decide.. i rather just keep quiet and let the thing pass..
I know deep in my heart i love him.. loving a person and to live with a person is different.. I know busy for him is inavoidable.. then since that case, i will also make myself busy lol.. so at least i m occupied.. but still i am very tired.. I feel tired in living.. I wanted so much in diving but i cant go..
Today i went to work with a swollen eye.. and does he knows..? no .. he dun.. my colleagues claimed that i cried thats y swollen but i told them its due to insufficient sleep... '
Probably those readers out there are thinking.. yayaya.. y is this gal keep on complaining complaing about her bf only.. y arent she herself doing smtg for her bf..?
I ponder this question a while... and i know y.. coz i am selfish.. Man are selfish animals.. Humans are selfish beings.. that is my conculsion..sad right .. from the way i think..
I think the reason that develop me into this selfishness is due to ''insecurity''.. eg.. i afraid i might be dumped away(insecure) so i ended up myself into SELFISHNESS to protect myself getting hurt.. Is that the reason???
I also duno how to solve my current problems..
living a day wlo tml..
Friday, June 23, 2006
~ 12:06 AM ~
Today... I feel very sad..Firstly, i was supposed to meet a friend yesterday at bona Vista at 6pm but she disappear. I tried calling her mobile but no one ans.. i called more den 10 times.. i tried again today but still nil answer.. she went missing 2 days.. PLs reply Chen Huiling if u saw this reply.. ok..thanks
Secondly, I was sad ... My bf is so busy with his work. He needs to go lounge to accompany clients at night til wee hours.. at least once per week.. he had been working every night till very late.. i dun even have time to talk to him.. Even wen he fetch me back(i knoe he take the affort to come all the way to fetch me). But ... from the moment he fetch me at NUh till my house, he had been using the phone toking abt work.. Since he is so busy.. y fetch me.. if i meet u den tok to my colleagues all the while.. How Will u FEEL... U ask me if i mind.. i just dun care.. coz i mind lol.. but until a point i think... u wan to do wat, u just go ahead lol.. dun wan to care so much le.. i also had work to do.. i also very stress at my work.. i also need to work during weekends..
I dun wan to care too much .. coz i know i CANT stand u going to lounge.. WHICH GAl can stand her bf go LOunge? Got gals one leh.. those that will strip naked inside the room.. ANd i also CANT stand u busy making phone calls even wen u meet me.. phone calls are continous.. nv ending.. even after office hours.. ya, i know u making BIGBIG money.. den u continue go and make money lol..
Lazy to bother so much
I know i was just being unreasonable, ya , u can say that.. everybody can.. probably i am . just that i am very angry.. but i cannot say.. later will lead to another quarrel.. so i just type here lol.. anyway , he will be TOO busy to even read my BLOG.. so i just type lol.. '
I so hoping i can drop dead in the next moment... life suz... hate living
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Wednesday, June 14, 2006
~ 12:21 AM ~
As i was counting my days to attend Calista wedding dinner on 11june06... something bad happened to me..--
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I... fall sick on friday(9th June06) wen i woke up, throat was painful ..so painful until i rather there arent any saliva for me to swallow.. I quickly drink as much water as i can, as much lozenges i have..But IT still occur..Yuckz
Didnt have any appetite for lunch before heading for my work at 1230pm. only bring one bread with kaya and rushed down by cab to work.(throat is killing me)
When i was at the nursing counter waiting for the morning staffs to pass over reports and handling over important staffs by nurse manager.. I feel giddy suddently. i know something is happening.. i rushed to the staff toilet...Walking to the toilet having myself half ''going to BLACKOUT''...managed to lock myself inside and vomit and gain back my self back..FEELING TERRIBLE...
Went back to nursing counter after 10mins. I feel better but still lousy..headed to passing of individual reports....
I was assign to front 2 cubicles, means 12 patients for me in total.. URGH.. i almost cried out loud..While receving report of the last patient from BaoDan SN , i had this fainting spell again, oh NO.. gosh..I am right in front of the ward...I holded Baodan's hand tight and tell her, I am going to faint.. Even before my word had said, my face already turned extremely PALE like SHEETS.. Baodan lead me to the outside toilet and i sat on the floor vomiting greeenish liquids out.. YUCKZ.. i wanted to take Mc but who is going to cover me if i go off? and how to get last minute staffings? So i stayed on..
I took a cup of milo.. , Haslin helped me with the noon and night medications..-->>thanks..
The rest of the early afternon was quite peaceful..not much changes and there are students nurses to help me out. Until 6pm....Drs started to make rounds and i need to do catherization at this timing.. Den my admission suddently come in at 7:15pm, 2 post op patients come back at 7pm.. one last minute decided late discharged at 6pm... I got to dismentle the casenotes myself, do everything myself. By that time, my fever went up... i feel very very hot... i could feel hot air arises...seeing everyone like 3Ds..
Left the ward at 9pm.. Bf fetch me to see a Dr. 38.5degrees.. suxz. man.. diag as URTI..
From that day fri nite onwards, i was lying on the bed til sun nite. I only rem i getting up to pass urine and barely eat and go vomit. My temp. next 2 days are still 38degrees. I feel like dieing.. (Just like putting u inside a oven and on it to max for 2 days)
UNABLE to attend Calista wedding on the 11June..sad man.. feeling better on 12 june but still not eating good ...flu and cough still present .. went to see another family Doct.
tue, 13June.. i was better. Went to Training course at work place... but still SICK
I HATE TO be sick
ok.. thats all.. i wan to slp le..
Friday, June 02, 2006
~ 11:59 PM ~
one of me and Tricia off day.. i meet Tricia out for shopping and talk cock. Den u know wat, i went in to try this crystal jade pastries at JP, it will very nice.. The egg tart nice nice..And the best part of all, i saw Tricia precious son, Zen..
He is like all sorts of little kids, rushed into toys shop wenever he saw.. and touch cars, mugs,hat, trains, those colourful materials..After half an hour there, Zen went home with his grandparents to slp le..
Me and Tricia and Charmine walking around at Jp den dine our dinner at crystal jade. the food there nice.. i must say. and not very expensive also. I ate wantan shrimp noodle about $6. The shrimp wantan nice.. Charmine ate this shrimp dumpling noodle also $6 . Mine and her almost same just that her shrimp dumpling looks bigger. As for Tricia, she ate a bowl of plain porridge and a soy sauce steam grouper. nice too.. But the grouper slightl expensive abit, its $15.50.
Headed home after dinner... FULL>...